keep believing

ground control to major tom
commencing countdown engines on
take your protein pills
and put your helmet oonnn..
BUSSHH
this is…………..

but now i know that you think being awake is an important part of friendship. so i will strive to stay awake for as long as i know you.
joey to pheebs

i know my dear ex roomie jolene for four and a half years and was her roommate for almost two years and yesterday we actually went out for the first time. i did go to mac, mobil, hawker center, school with her but that doesn’t count. to make up for the four years, we ate at swensens, shopped, went to the youth mass, ate at nooch, and shopped. now i have new pencil lead, i have less money, i have sorethroat and stomachache. good luck for jolene. i got my waitressing schedule for next week. it was supposed to start this weekend but they don’t want me to start on the busy weekend. they don’t want me to trouble them at peak hours and they don’t want me to get a bad first impression of waitressing there and quit immediately. i ask my enrichment center boss if i can stop coming on fridays so that i can waitress on fridays (of course i didn’t tell her that, i told her so i can do something else, not a lie) because there are not so many students on fridays. but she says she needs me. and last friday i took an hour to copy a form which can actually be photocopied in five seconds (i wanted to draw more but it was not very fun so i only drew one), laughed to a sec three girl’s story about how she was brought to the hod room because of her tinted hair and her pinafore belt and how she was almost raped by a girl friend that day, and felt stupid asking people if they needed help. i had nothing to do. but the boss wasn’t there so she didn’t see that she was paying me for nothing. though it’s not really nothing, i did help a bit in the nursery side where the shy, tiny kids with eyes too big for their faces are. hey all the best for everyone who has/had interviews and tests for uni stuff. i still have no news from nus and my first sister keeps saying that nus doesn’t want me. or i didn’t apply properly. or this or that. she says everything to freak me out. mean sister. i’m not freaking out. nus don’t want don’t want lor..

i hate waking up early in the morning.. how did i ever manage to do that for sixteen years.

during lunch, my colleague who is older than my mom was telling me about her two grown up children. her daughter once worked with the producer of CSI and her son is going to work for GOD full time. wahh. what did she feed them.

my boss turned me to a teacher/maid/kuli today. she made me climb a table and a chair, poke things using a broom, run down to ntuc to buy chrysanthemum tea, clean the room, and teach too. pay rise, pay rise.

sherly and i went to library to borrow books.. and to take pics! we are two sexy bookworms.

i had a long tiring day on monday (i was exploited by the east people) and it was a long tiring day at work today. i was tired and sleepy in the morning and i was dragging myself to work. but my kids made my day. two of them think i rock (ms erlin you rock! yay) and one out of nowhere just asked me if i was happy hahaa. i told her: yes i am.

hey WE WERE ON TV! haha. remember when we were in science centre, we saw some people filming but we couldn’t find any good looking people around. i thought they were making some low budget show that wouldn’t go on tv. but timothy nga was actually there and they showed it on channel5 today. tj astro’s three minutes of fame! i didn’t catch it because i was at work but xiaofan says almost all of us were there, they even showed me and michelle looking into the scope!

i’m going to start waitressing this week.

watching tv is one huge commitment. you have to commit yourself to a box at a certain fixed time for a long period or else you will not get the feel of watching it, you will not know the essence of watching tv. you slack for an hour or even five minutes from it, you may miss someone’s death or marriage or a very funny line.
the good thing is this helps you to practice to commit yourself to something and to do your best, to keep focused to achieve your goal(which, in this case, is to watch every single episode and to complete the season).

and those advertisements. the same evil ads keep playing again and again, making you wanting to buy birds for your brother’s fortune (even if you don’t have one) to seduce a sexy uncle, or riding on the vibrating thing that makes jacelyn tay looks happy and stupid. and before you know it, consumerism and materialism are subconsciously created in you.

i’m not against tv, but i have a problem with committing myself to things.
a possible solution: pirated dvds.
piracy kills creativity. tv rots your brain.
killing others’ creativity is better than rotting your own brains?

yesterday i found this line in my leaving school testimonial:
was an intelligent and able student with a QUICK and ALERT mind.
i am normally associated with words of the opposite. so this is kinda nice. it’s either i really made that impression with my teacher or she thought that it was worth it to lie for me.
either way, it was nice.

i sell guns to every army but salvation army.
back then, i didn’t sell to osama bin laden. not because of moral reasons, but because he was always bouncing checks.
yuri orlov

war of lord is funny. it’s a bit depressing and long (almost boring) too but i like it because it’s funny. nicholas cage is good. we watched it on dvd.

if i got that waitressing job, i wouldn’t have off-days where i can act like i have all the time in the world because i really have all the time in the world, stay over at THE house, go back and fro and back and fro to some places, spend ten bucks on transport in a day, and get tired of playing and eating and talking and walking like i did the past two days.

jor just told me sulih says i can start working next week.
i don’t know who sulih is he doesn’t know either but yay i got a job!

it was dated back then in middle school in indonesia. i was always this slow or even worse. i took my time in doing things. one day, when we had our PE and were playing basketball, my classmates started calling me the solo princess. solo princesses are demure and graceful, in other words, slow, like me. it’s definitely not a compliment because soon they also called me pithecantropus soloensis, something we learnt in history lesson. looking at the bright sight, hey at least i was called a princess. a princess cannot be that bad right.

then i went off to singapore. i cant really remember how it actually started but i recall telling a story to a few non-indonesian sec school friends. the story goes like this:
i was actually a princess in my hometown. the king sent me here to study and he also sent a few servants to keep me company and to cater to my needs. those servants disguised as my indonesian friends.

it was really fun and i didn’t mean to cheat anyone. come on it’s obviously a lie right. but some people didn’t find it too hard to believe. well who can blame them.

i may look like a real princess but seriously, i am just an ordinary girl.

*solo is a city in indonesia. you know bengawan solo.

i am so bored. supposed to be cleaning house now. i sweep sweep a bit already. but i am so bored. this is the time when all the stupid, weird, useless thoughts are put into words and turned into an entry in this blog.

i never regret going to tj.
i had doubts, sure, many of them. in my whole life i never thought of wearing that ugly green uniform and going to that old building for two years until a few days before i had to make a decision. and i somehow put tj as my first choice.

after the first three months, i still thought of changing college. i was having fun but i wanted to go to my dream college. but the people up there stopped me. and i am truly very grateful to them now. thanks god and moe. (thank them people, you may not know me if it’s not because of them)
after a year, i still wondered all the what ifs. i wondered if i made the right decision.
and during those two years, when i witnessed my friends suffer or feel down, i sometimes wondered would they have a better jc life if they had a better friend (in place of me).

now, looking back, i am actually quite happy that i went to tj. i am happy with all my friends, the stress and fun, and my grades. i had a fair share of everything. i had a pretty good jc life.

and to all my friends: too bad lah you’re stuck with me. for two years and more!

my hardest day at work in a week is thursday when a trouble comes every week in a form of a seven year old boy. this boy is funny and cheeky at times but he is naughty, mean, rude, irritating, and really bad most of the time.
he was extremely mean to the other kids yesterday he didn’t listen to me he almost made me run to the toilet and cry. i resorted to calling my colleague for help.

people are helping me to find jobs and giving recommendations. yayy. i want to try waitressing and feel tired after work. i went for an interview with jordan’s boss this morning. he likes jor very much!

my dad thinks of sending my youngest sister here to study and stay with my two other sisters. when i ask why dont wait for scholarship he says he doesn’t want her to get delayed like me. so i’m like the bad sample.
going to school here is bad, paying to go to school here is so very BAAADDD. i survived because of people who suffer with me (G11: we survive under pressure) and knowing that i get paid to go to school/suffer/get tortured.
and my sister is the like baby of the family still so young and fragile and spoilt. papa please don’t do that to her.

i had my lunch ALONE today.

when you go for any interview or selection test, please make sure that:
you do not have any hole on your skirt, you bring whatever that you are asked to, you can walk properly in your sister’s heels, you bring extra cash for cab and you know the address of the venue because even the best cab drivers cannot help when you do not know the address, you know which floor you are supposed to go, and you know why you go in the first place.
and please do not go just because you are lazy to go to work on that day.

yesterday despite all the problems, i wrote a letter to a mother 50,000 years from now, imagined how it felt to be a timothy, ate refreshment, and did a lot of smiling and nodding. not so wasted a day as i thought it would be.

i went all over singapore today.
kovan-buenavista-lavender-changiairport-bugis-cityhall-bugis-cityhall-kovan.
in the morning i got my loi and my side back yay. ganesha is nice but i hope this is the last trip to moe i have to make when i’m still staying in kovan.
i wanted to visit jiajia and jiamin at ica but didn’t get to see them. i’ll try to find them on monday.
i found my favourite spot in changi! will be going there more often if i can find a shorter way to get there.
had some serious talk and serious drinks in bugis. serious sotongballs were missing!
i find marinasquare quite boring.
wednesday is a praying day. 730 at northbridgeroad.

i’m finding another part time job. after three months plus, i just realised i am kinda always free. i am either visiting people who are working, going out with people on their off days, watching and laughing at people when they work, blogging, talking to people in msn, reading gossips about which celebrities are pregnant (being pregnant is now a trend!) or spending more money than i am earning.

it’s been raining a lot here. i would be very happy if i were still in cedar. back then we sang and danced and did everything we could to call the rain. but now that i no longer have to run around the school three times twice a week and i lose my umbrella whenever i start using it (i just lost one), i do not like rainy days that much.