keep believing

when a friend complains..

(10:04 AM) erlin: hore im no longer the girl who loses her matric card
(10:04 AM) erlin: no number on my matric card
(10:04 AM) erlin: my first and last matric card
(10:04 AM) erlin: hore
(10:05 AM) (: pat: ?
(10:05 AM) erlin: i have a functioning matric card again
(10:05 AM) erlin: the old one
(10:05 AM) (: pat: i tot u coming
(10:05 AM) (: pat: since ur going office gitu
(10:05 AM) erlin: has been reactivated n recoded
(10:05 AM) erlin: ga jd d
(10:06 AM) (: pat: haahah
(10:08 AM) (: pat: lalalalala
(10:08 AM) (: pat: u talk very very no clear links betw sentences
(10:08 AM) erlin: my fridge bakal rusak d
(10:08 AM) erlin: keep not closing
(10:08 AM) erlin: as in kept open often
(10:09 AM) erlin: i thot closed alr
(10:09 AM) erlin: i bought food and buying more food so i wont be hungry no more
(10:10 AM) (: pat: whyyyy
(10:10 AM) (: pat: anyway bio lab a bit like howwwww
(10:10 AM) (: pat: can i just give up on him
(10:10 AM) erlin: hah
(10:10 AM) erlin: why
(10:10 AM) erlin: hhehehe
(10:10 AM) erlin: microscope again ya
(10:10 AM) erlin: ytdy lecture very hard la
(10:10 AM) erlin: i also gave up
(10:10 AM) erlin: ahhahaa
(10:10 AM) erlin: i want to donate blood today
(10:11 AM) erlin: but didnt sleep enough
(10:12 AM) (: pat: ga nyambung gitu
(10:12 AM) (: pat: ……………
(10:12 AM) (: pat: maybe im not used to it anymore
(10:13 AM) erlin: u r nt used to me ga nyambung?
(10:14 AM) erlin: why why why why
(10:16 AM) (: pat: it just felt weird
(10:17 AM) (: pat: like .. im waiting for something then its like what’s the link!!

Go to the ant, you sluggard; consider its ways and be wise! It has no commander, no overseer or ruler, yet it stores its provisions in summer and gathers its food at harvest. How long will you lie there, you sluggard? When will you get up from your sleep? A little sleep, a little slumber, a little folding of the hands to rest — and poverty will come on you like a bandit and scarcity like an armed man.
Proverbs 6:6-11

how apt. i read this when i woke up from my nap. slapped me right in the face.

in physical chemistry for engineers, we learn about state functions which are functions which property depends only on the state of the system and not the path taken to reach the state, functions with ‘ends justify means’ as their philosophy of life. they can do anything to achieve their goals and it is all the same.
but we humans are different. every path we take matters. ends do not justify means.

those who are facing trials and temptations, be strong.
for He will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear.

i went out with my sisters last night. to celebrate my sister number one’s birthday. it was a short all expenses paid trip to ps. we ate sushi and gelatto. and i bought a bit of food to stop the starvation in my room.

should i go home for chinese new year? it’s been such a long time since i was home for cny that i’ve forgotten how it feels like. i talked to my dad and sisters yesterday, i kinda miss them.

should i should i should i should i.
reminds me of anh. how is she?

it’s easy to be righteous, to listen to my conscience, to stick to whatever rules, to stand by the truth when it is trivial or convenient for me. but when it gets hard to resist, when it is no longer convenient, when i want it so bad, do i excuse myself from doing what is right and shun my conscience? do i compromise with what i believe is right? do i convince myself that it is not so wrong? if the answer is yes, i guess i am actually in the process of turning my conscience numb, and soon there will come a day when i can no longer tell right from wrong. when i blend in in a world where wrong seems right.

and that’s exactly why people need the Lord.

i always wonder. what’s in your mind when you are idle?
what did einstein think of the minutes before he fell asleep? how about hitler? paris hilton? bill gates?
what did Paul dwell on?
Finally, brethren, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is of good repute, if there is any excellence and if anything worthy of praise, dwell on these things. Phil 4:8

thank you for embracing me in your family. thank you for limiting yourself in order to allow my limited ratio and heart to see your glory, to know you and to love you. thank you for every way, every person, every lesson you let to be present in my life for me to learn and to grow and to know you more. thank you for loving me first..

save the environment. reduce, reuse, recycle. do not litter. do not blog.
how much rubbish do i produce when i blog?

we had a surprise for irma last night. actually it’s more like her boyfriend planned the whole thing and her friends took a small tiny part by being there and getting treated. so sweet a boyfriend. we ate some very good food, and visited a very nice, cool, pretty place with boars and insects and monkeys around. which teach me to think twice before complaining about the small flying things i find occassionally in my room when i leave my window open.

i owe many many people birthday wishes and presents. i do feel bad. in my defense, i have more and more friends and things to do, but the same amount of time in a day. i even thought of not making any more new friends, which is of course a wrong solution to the problem. i should instead, eliminate wasteful hand-and-body motions, and be more effective and efficient to get more things done in the same amount of time. time management.
anyway, we don’t need birthdays to show how much we care or to measure how strong our friendship is right. because ‘it’s the thoughts that count’. my favourite excuse for not doing something that i’ve merely thought of doing.

i’ve been working on something that doesn’t seem to work. i know that i should not feel this way but deep down, i am kinda worried that i will keep failing and one day, i will just give up and stop trying. but He who began the good work in you will carry it on to completion (Phil 1:6) and that gives me hope and assurance. i am weak but He is strong.

i’ll blog less.

lectures ended early because it’s irma’s birthday.

and pat thinks i look like papaya.

joy to everyone!

the wonder of glass.
glass allows rooms to be separated and yet in touch. window glass allows sun to be outside and yet its light and heat go into your room and burn you and turn you black.
after a semester of suntanning in the room, i finally got my blinds on and freed my pc and my tv and myself from the the possibility of getting skin cancer.
and now i have to choose between having weird weird insects around or being hot in the room ;) open or close. oh well.

i’ve got my desire. thanks to karthik.

school updates. monday was a pretty pretty day. tuesday was a day so blurred i can’t remember what i did. wednesday was a day getting lost in science fac. labs are not so bad. so far.
i had iscf camp meeting just now, followed by kelompok tumbuh bersama meeting. no one comes to help, everyone comes to serve and learn. i love my ktb :) we asked many many questions today and we visited the blue neighbour to see our busy youtube star.

did i mention that from my seventeen years of going to school, i love uni life the most? the reason used to be because i can say ’skip class won’t die’ on any day i feel like. but it no longer is.
it’s just that i’m so tempted to feel like it tomorrow la, it’s irma’s birthday mah. invalid excuse it is.

happy birthday irma. the sixth birthday you celebrate with me around. and counting!

..doing things right, ..doing the right things.. mno text.
it’s about doing the right things right.
right.

weekend is over. time really flies. i did warn me.
i’m busier on weekends than weekdays. and that’s a good thing :)

during the holidays, i told my mom that i want to bring her to singapore with me. not to keep my room clean, not to cook for me, not to take care of me. i can live in a messy room, i can eat anything, i can take care of myself. but i love her so much it hurts. i can only tear everytime i say her name in my prayers. thank God for teaching me what love is through her presence. i miss my mommy.
i hope i can be a mother to my children like she is to me and my sisters.

..i’m learning to be less self-reliant and more God-dependent. annie.

May the mind of Christ, my Saviour
Live in me from day to day,
By His love and power controlling,
All I do and say.

May the Word of God dwell richly
in my heart from hour to hour,
So that all may see I triumph,
Only through His power.

May the peace of God, my Father
Rule my life in everything,
That I may be calm to comfort,
Sick and sorrowing.

May the love of Jesus fill me
As the waters fill the sea,
Him exalting, self abasing,
This is victory.

May I run the race before me,
Strong and brave to face the foe,
Looking only unto Jesus
As I onward go.

May His beauty rest upon me,
As I seek the lost to win,
And may they forget the channel,
Seeing only Him.