keep believing

i’m dead tired now, but really glad for the past one day.

i had a day out with my mom yesterday, a rather unusual outing, it was actually business for her and i was just accompanying her. but there were a little bit of shopping and talking, nasi padang and alvocado juice. sweet. and i finally met up with indah and her boyfriend today. did the twice a year catching up and watched another indonesian movie, not that bad this one. the title is maaf saya menghamili istri anda, it’s funny and real, but i’m not sure about the moral of the story. maybe it’s be honest, to yourself and to others. or love is blind. or be funny. or maybe there was none.

i was reminded the importance of prayers once again. we had what supposed to be a small bible study last week, we talked a little bit about matt 7:7, Ask and it shall be given to you; seek, and ye shall find; knock and it shall be opened unto you. we talked about how it is not about praying and getting all your wishes granted, but it’s about telling God what you wish, asking in your prayers, and trusting God with all your wishes completely. last sunday’s sermon too was related to prayers. you claim yourself as a Christian, you go to church, you learn and you think you know a lot about Christianity, but have you leaned on Him completely, or do you rely on yourself, taking pride on your brains and cognitive knowledge? how much have you planted your hopes on God, how much have you asked, how often do you pray? these are the kind of things you would have heard often, but it just has just recently struck me (again), how people need the Lord really badly: illnesses, deaths, suffering, missions, spiritual struggles, school/relationships/all kinds of problems. and how sometimes, we can do nothing but saying our prayers, how prayers are hopes put into actions, how prayers strengthen and comfort, how prayers are powerful. and i feel that it is really wonderful to have people praying for each other, like you do your stuff, you cry in your room, you don’t know it but there are actually people praying for you. thank God for prayers.

oh yes i’m home. been back for two weeks now. got really sick twice. i thought it’s the food but it’s not. got tortured for that mysterious sickness, and now i have blue blacks all over my limbs.

i came all the way from singapore to jakarta, only to go out and meet up with the same people i see in singapore: the freshmen briefing, a little bit of shopping, a birthday celebration, a karaoke session, a narcissistic photo taking, a bible study, two nights at yusita’s, a (forced) badminton lesson, a few so so meals, a few movies, a few episodes of heroes, whatelse..
fantastic four second. not bad, good looking people, happy ending. you always have a choice, said susan storm.
shrek the third. funnyy. i love the sleeping beauty. shrek said something like.. don’t you care about people’s perception about you, dont let others define you, what matters is how you see yourself as.
and the other movie, it was so bad it’s not worth mentioning.

i haven’t met up with my old friends. my bad.
i miss fanie. holidays in jakarta is incomplete without youu.

i hate being idle. watched a little bit too much tv. tv rots your brains. rot, rotten. trying to finish up sophie’s world and let the nations be glad. i’m on read books movement. and.. i slept, the rest of the time. for that, my dad calls me a solid matter. because i don’t move much. idleness. oh well.

the schedule for my summer programme is out. was kinda scared, new place, new culture, but i’m all excited now!
apart from chinese courses and some lectures, we will be visiting the great wall, summer palace, forbidden city, baotu spring, daming lake, shandong museum, qingdao city, hai’er industrial park, bada guan, weifang, yangjiabu, beijing opera,mountain taishan,qufu, confucius mansion/temple/cemetry.
two more weeks!

home.

I don’t know about tomorrow
I just live from day to day
I don’t borrow from its sunshine
For its skies may turn to gray

sf and i have been spending time like good fat friends do; lazing around, talking, watching whatever show on the tv, eating, drinking bubble teas. we’re good, we’re fat.

collected my visa today, and will be paying for the airticket tomorrow. i’m so so broke. i’m borrowing money from my sister, yup, not taking advantage of her. i have more than enough allowance, i just need to manage my resources better from now on.
tried to learn chinese from the cd johni lent me. ni hao. wo jiao erlin. xie xie. and sf laughed.
:X have forgotten everything else.

cooking/potluck and bible study tomorrow, hospital visit and home sweet home on saturday!

Many things about tomorrow
I don’t seem to understand
But I know Who holds tomorrow
And I know Who holds my hands!

just found out that airtickets to beijing are not yet booked. after all the online bookings and many long calls, tickets are still not booked. and now we are left only with $800 plus and above tickets.
:(
how.

i was unpacking and repacking my stuff yesterday, separating things that i want to bring home from those that i will bring to pgp. a lot of rubbish, and i’m not yet done, because halfway, i had to leave to meet sf and pat for some grocery shopping. we had a cooking session last night at ci ynty’s place. we cut and we broke and we boiled and we washed and we cooked. i love home-cooked spaghetti! we prepared salad too but didn’t manage to eat it because we were too full. after eating, we talked about science and God, feminism, marriage, and i was struck by the beauty of Truth, there’s so much i don’t know and i wish to learn.
the aftermath: i got confused (ps. i get confused when i think!)
and, i love my mom so much and i respect her even more now.

i went to apply for visa at the embassy of prc today. was dragging myself out of bed in the morning, would not have gone if some people didn’t keep nagging with smses and calls. i would have continued sleeping if not for these people. thanks :D the 111 bus driver was very nice. i didn’t get lost! almost got really mad for the service they gave for visa application, but i had a book to read. i hope everything goes well and i can collect my visa on thursday.
airtickets to beijing are booked. thanks to the three people going with me to china. $666. i’m so going broke. thank God i have two working sisters who will sponsor me ;)
after a nap, i went to changi with har to send indra off. so sweet. we had popeyes and finally managed to squeezed in conversations with substance among all the crap. it was really hard i tell you.

watched night at the museum dvd last night at westpeak after church. i dont normally like ben stiller’s movies but this one is not bad. funnyy.
i’m made of wax, what are you made of?
who’s evolved?

Some are born great, others have greatness thrust upon them. teddy roosevelt.

paaaaa says:
erlinnnn
paaaaa says:
i’m so bored
paaaaa says:
having exam
erlin says:
hey
erlin says:
u know
erlin says:
i clicked ur name
paaaaa says:
really?? haha
erlin says:
then i saw “pa is writing a message”

i love paaaa.

i wanted to go to china embassy to apply for visa on friday, so i could settle it before flying back home. but i was a few hours too late. lucky i filled in the form before i left the house, and saw the timing they put there: 930-11am. so visa applying is postponed to monday, and the day was spent reading and accidental napping, before i was “trapped” into going for welcome tea meeting. after the meeting, we had bible study on the book revelation at smu and supper (or dinner for some people) at clementi.
woke up early on saturday for hospital visit. i’m still in the process of learning, still not able to do much of comforting and strengthening and praying. i wish to be like a sponge that can absorp things fast and be squezzed for some use when needed. we had lunch at lucky plaza food court and went to hartanto’s place before going for youth fellowship. and it was kwaytiao at kiliney for dinner again.
time’s flying really fast. holidays get really scary when you’re losing your time without you knowing what you’ve been doing. two more months.

It was love, God’s wondrous love for me!

Although my memory’s fading, I remember two things very clearly. I’m a great sinner and Christ is a great Savior. John Newton

watched amazing grace yesterday. the movie was funny and inspiring, but it was less than what i expected. the movie starts off well, but along the way i think it fails to show much of wilberforce’s spiritual struggle before God, instead it shows more of what he did and his interactions with people for the abolition of slave trade. which almost made me see it as another self-motivated world-changer humanist with a woman behind him kind of movie, if not for the amazing grace hymn, the john newton and the title of the movie.

will you use your voice to praise the Lord or to change the world?
we suggest you can do both.

at such a young age, wilberforce was seen as a great man, he could sing, he could speak well, he got the good looks (well, he did in the movie), he could easily gain wealth, status, girls if he wanted to. but God called him, and he responded to it. he gave his youth, his whole life to be used by God. things didn’t look great, he almost gave up but he persevered. for God was with him.
and the slave trade was abolished in britain in 1807.

God sometimes does His work with gentle drizzle, not storms. Drip. Drip. Drip. John Newton