keep believing

I went to see a bone specialist yesterday, who is my own aunt, and she unveiled the mystery behind the literally pain in the ass that I’ve had for the past six months. I’m not sure how to put it, but it has something to do with strained muscles, on the whole left side of my back along my scoliotic spine, caused by imbalance burden from my daily activities (sitting, sleeping, carrying). So it’s actually not just on the butt, but I guess the pressure is concentrated there once I sit down. And that’s why the pain.

My aunt brought me to a physiotherapist, and got me a treatment there, for free because she works with them. I think it needs time to remove the pain totally, and I don’t have a lot of time here to do many treatments, but it’s relieving to know the source and the cause of this thing that has been troubling me. Thank God it’s nothing very serious and didn’t have to cost my parents a bomb.

When people see me for the first time after such a long time, they’ll bring up one of these two things (with much concern on their face): “you look fat”, and “oh your pimples!”. Oh well.

I’m at home now, getting stuffed with all the food that I’ve been deprived of for 6 months and doing pretty much nothing else. I’m glad I chose to go back home though I had to squeeze the time for it. After so much travelling, getting overwhelmed again and again by too many things, seeing and experiencing so much, this simple quality time with family, just being at home, enjoying the company, not doing anything, becomes so meaningful. I don’t even feel like going out for shopping or stuff like that. And this actually turns out to be more satisfying than taking too many pictures in foreign places (to be fair, I had a lot of fun, probably too much of it). I’ll sure miss travelling, but I guess I’ve had enough. I’m still looking forward to Bali though. For the company ;)

And FYP is calling me. Urgently. Sigh.

The first service that one owes to others in the fellowship consists in listening to them. Just as love to God begins with listening to His Word, so the beginning of love for the brethren is learning to listen to them. It is God’s love to us that He not only gives us His Word but also lends us His ear. So it is His work that we do for our brother when we learn to listen to him. Christians, especially ministers, so often think they must always contribute something when they are in the company of others, that this is the one service they have to render. They forget that listening can be a greater service than speaking.

Many people are looking for an ear that will listen. They do not find it among Christians, because these Christians are talking when they should be listening. But he who can no longer listen to his brother will soon be no longer listening to God either; he will be doing nothing but prattle in the presence of God, too. This is the beginning of the death of the spiritual life, and in the end there is nothing left but spiritual chatter and clerical condescension arrayed in pious words. One who cannot listen long and patiently will presently be talking beside the point and be never really speaking to others, albeit he be not conscious of it. Anyone who thinks that his time is too valuable to spend keeping quiet will eventually have no time for God and his brother, but only for himself and for his own follies.

- Life Together by Dietrich Bonhoeffer

It is not that God is the spectator and sharer of our present life, howsoever important that is; but rather that we are the reverent listeners and participants in God’s action in the sacred story, the history of the Christ on earth. And only in so far as we are there, is God with us today also. – Dietrich Bonhoeffer

SO EXCITED TO GO HOME :)

This is probably going to be my last entry from Zurich, wait I’m not even in Zurich, am in Solothurn now. There are just a few stupid things that have bummed me out a little the past few days, and you’d probably say: So Erlin. Typical. Which is exactly why these were kinda depressing.

1. I almost missed my flight, twice. Both to and from Stockholm. Board the airplane as the last passenger 10 minutes before the flight. In Stockholm, I had to go back all the way to the room, after running for the bus and got into it, to get my passport, which I thought I forgot, and which was actually in the bag. It’s like double stupidity. First, forgetting my passport before a flight (I thought I lost it and I’d have to stay in Stockholm for some time and my plans for Jakarta and Bali would be screwed up). Second, to get so stressed out about it, all panicky, searching frantically for it all over the room, only to find out that it was all the while in my backpack.

And another thing, (since I flew to Stockholm from Berlin, I took a train and stayed for a night at Berlin) I almost took the train that would bring me to Prague instead of Berlin. Nice.

But anyway, no flights were missed, and I didn’t go to Prague.

2. I officially lost my precious pink bottle, and I had no idea where and when, it just disappered! It’s just a water bottle, it’s no big deal right.. But it has historical values, got it as 21st birthday present (from myself), went through ups and downs with me, almost got lost many many times, and I’d always been proud of how I’d never actually lost it (before this I’d never owned a water bottle that’s more than a year old, not even longer than six months I guess?). It’s been more than two years, and I finally lost it.

Well, I learnt about SODIS in one of my modules at ETH, that PET bottles are safe to use. So yup, I got myself a plastic bottle, and it serves the same purpose as my Nalgene bottle, except that it’s not bullet-proof.

3. I only bought one souvenir from Stockholm for this family I’m staying with. Meatballs! And I forgot about it, it’s in the fridge back in my student housing at Dietikon and I have no time to pass it to them anymore.

Now I shall find a way to pass it to them, or think of another thing that I can do with 1 kg of meatballs.

4. Bought my airtickets to Jakarta 21-30 July, forgetting (and also partly ignoring) that I’ve some commitments to take care of in Singapore. And this has not been settled..

-

I forget things, have them slipped out of my mind, from the most trivial to the crucial one. And it can kinda scare me if I dwell in it you know.. Like I’ll never know what I’m going to lose or forget next. On one hand I shall learn to be more aware, to remember to remember, and to plan better for things ahead. At the same time I need to.. keep believing, that God takes care of me, to keep me going. Because He really does..

ABBA
H&M
Ikea
Noble Prize Ceremony
meatballs
princess cake
the ATM
zippers
refrigerator
computer mouse
seat belt
VASA
Dala horse
moose
Astrid Lindgren
Pippi Longstocking!

what else?

friend: btw
harga ticket kira2 berapa ya
klo gw ke swiss

me: 200 euro la

friend: gile
mahal banget
for how long itu

me: iya mahal
n bkl tmbh mahal kl lu ga cepet2 book
selasa sampe minggu
terus di sini nya byr lg
200 francs utk transport
200 utk 4 hari
itu udah worth it bgt

friend: buset deh
hahaha

me: wah berubah pikiran d ya
blm naik gunung

friend: gak jadi deh klo gt

me: hrs tambah 90 francs
kl naik train khusus tambah lg 30

friend: ahaha
stop stop
lol

My JC classmate who’s here with me recently recalled that in GP class I told the whole class that my ambition was to be a mother. I don’t remember that, and I thought it was silly she’d probably just made that up to make fun of me. A mother as an ambition, really?

I spent a few days with three families with six young children. Small kids are cute, when they are not crying and screaming and running around and jumping and throwing things at each other and crying and crying and crying.. It’s not easy to be parents. Seriously. It’s not just about giving birth to a soul, your job doesn’t stop there. I can’t imagine how tortured my mom was in raising up five girls with little age gaps. And I think she’s done a pretty awesomely decent job ;)

I guess that ambition doesn’t sound so silly anymore.