keep believing

Then he said to them all: “If anyone would come after me, he must deny himself and take up his cross daily and follow me. For whoever wants to save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for me will save it.

What good is it for a man to gain the whole world, and yet lose or forfeit his very self?

If anyone is ashamed of me and my words, the Son of Man will be ashamed of him when he comes in his glory and in the glory of the Father and of the holy angels.

Luke 9:23-26

It’s OK to change your mind.. within 100 days.

I’ve been exposed rather intensively to the history of religions the past few days, though just the bits and pieces of it. I’m doing one module on that, had classes today on Judaism and Christianity. Volunteered in this upcoming exhibition on Dead Sea Scrolls as a guide which requires me to read up on the history of the scrolls and the Bible. And attended a lecture that talked about the growth of Islam just last night. It’s so coincidental that I have them on subsequent days. I find these interesting, though I do realise, the phrase ‘the more I learn, the more I forget’ is so very true, especially for me!

For a moment just now, and for the first time since I’m back, I wished I was still in Zurich.. And it’s not about the weather here or the sceneries there.

The Lord is my shepherd;
I shall not want.
He makes me to lie down in green pastures;
He leads me beside the still waters.
He restores my soul;
He leads me in the paths of righteousness
For His name’s sake.

Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death,
I will fear no evil;
For You are with me;
Your rod and Your staff, they comfort me.

You prepare a table before me in the presence of my enemies;
You anoint my head with oil;
My cup runs over.
Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me
All the days of my life;
And I will dwell in the house of the LORD
Forever.

Psalm 23

We must be ready to allow ourselves to be interrupted by God. God will be constantly crossing our paths and cancelling our plans by sending people with claims and petitions. We may pass them by, preoccupied with our more important tasks.. When we do that we pass by the visible sign of the Cross raised athwart our path to show us that, not our way, but God’s way must be done.

..(We) do not want a life that is crossed and balked. But it is a part of the discipline of humility that we must not spare our hand where it can perform a service and that we do not assume that our schedule is our own to manage, but allow it to be arranged by God.

- Dietrich Bonhoeffer on The Ministry of Helpfulness, from Life Together

It feels like school hasn’t really started yet. I am only taking 3 modules besides my FYP this semester, lab sessions and tutorials only start next week, and I have an unprecendental three-day-week.. I thought I could save on the bus fees by having a three-day-week, but with my current condition of living out of my luggage, I need a proper table with a conducive environment to study, which spells the library! I guess I will be camping in the library throughout the semester, or at least til I settle down.

So after spending 40 bucks for two weeks on transport, I decided to replace my concession pass. The story goes three years back, not so long after I got my old concession pass, an evil brus diver confiscated it with no valid reason! And I procrastinated for three freaking years to get it settled. Now it feels like I can take buses for free, though it’s really not, it costs 50 bucks a month..

I finally finished the book that I was reading since November last year, a book with 122 pages, that I brought everywhere, to Medan, Jakarta, Zurich, Berlin and Stockholm. It took me 9 months, it’s like less than half a page each day! In my defence, I kinda re-read it after abandoning the book some time ago since I forgot where I stopped. There are many good books waiting to be read, I should read read read! Stop buying books, stop reading rubbish and start reading good books.

And being a final year, I’ve freed myself from any organisational commitment, except for ISCF which is not really organisational, and took up some other commitments that are perhaps heavier. Like being a cell group leader, I never thought I would ever be one! And a better friend than before :) These are kinda hard, since it’s like a life long commitment, the job scope is kinda undefined, the job risks are far more damaging and serious. And of course, a better student..

I’m still enjoying my FYP, though I haven’t really immersed myself into it, and the modules that I take (besides the lab module) look kinda fun! (Okay perhaps I’m just comforting myself).

Anyway, let’s keep praying and hope for the best for this semester.

I guess if I could establish, to self, the reasoning and principles behind my decision (if any), and if I’m kept reminded of these and of how the decision comes about, it would be easier to keep it at that, to be consistent and to live with the consequences of my decision..
And it would save all of us from unnecessary trouble and pain. Right?

-

To be a friend is a time-consuming commitment. – My Primary School Best Friend

I have been very impressed with the urgency of doing.
Knowing is not enough, we must apply.
Being willing is not enough, we must do.
- Leonardo Da Vinci

“Why do you call me, ‘Lord, Lord,’ and do not do what I say?
I will show you what he is like who comes to me and hears my words and puts them into practice.
He is like a man building a house, who dug down deep and laid the foundation on rock. When a flood came, the torrent struck that house but could not shake it, because it was well built.
But the one who hears my words and does not put them into practice is like a man who built a house on the ground without a foundation. The moment the torrent struck that house, it collapsed and its destruction was complete.”
Luke 6: 46-49